Have been feeling guilty for some while at not posting here regularly enough. We are having a busy time here, and though its a bit tiring its interesting too. We have a Saudi Arabian student and a Mexican student staying with us. So I know loads of things about these places I didn't know before - like Mexico city is built on an old lake - now turned to marsh and is sinking into it... and that in Saudi Arabia women are not allowed to drive, have access to only certain jobs (where they won't come into contact with men) and are in poor health/old by the time they reach their forties. Also almost everyone has an Indonesian housekeeper.
Also my two older kids have been taking exams which is very nerve wracking for me since I am their teacher.
But have also found some time to write too, and am happy with the results - yeay!! I am getting to the point where I actually do feel I am going to wrestle this wet hippo to the ground - and it has been so long since I submitted anything that I'm getting an adrenaline high just thinking about it - rather than the usual abject terror at the thought.

Well off for a moody few days in Luxembourg now, I'll be making notes and snapping photos, and sipping strong coffees in chic cafes - it'll probably be freeeezing - but anyway - I'm going to enjoy my three days researching for my adventure novel set out there. DH will be working so I will be solitary in the day, just me and my notebook - bliss!

A little while ago - well OK over a year ago now, someone who judges short story competitions told me the story has to pass the 'so what?' test. That is by the end of the story you have to feel you have been enlightened in some way, that there was some point to the story. This opinion affected me greatly, from now on everything I wrote was going to satisfy the 'so what' test. Everything I wrote would be multi-layered and meaningful - and actually this year my writing didn't get very far at all. I now realise that the 'so what' principle was suffocating me. Just one more thing to worry about, one more thing to allow me to say that my writing wasn't good enough. So my new motto - well its not really printable, but if you'll fill in the gaps, its 'f**k it' I mean here I am, a reader and what do I want - do I want to be educated and inspired? Actually no - if I want that I'll go to non-fiction for it - what I'm looking for is to be entertained, to be dragged by my ear into a story, bumped along at high speed and dropped off tousle-haired and breathless at the end, having shed a few tears on the way perhaps. And if under close analysis I find I have learned nothing, I am not even a fraction enlightened - well - so what? If the story is pointless, so what? The fact is that if as a reader I got taken into a different world, if the book gave me an escape from the tedium of cooking meals, vaccuuming floors, and worrying about gas bills - that's money well-spent, and the writer has done their job. And if there isn't a 'so what' - well so what?

So you've heard that old maxim, that it takes a million word to make a writer. I read of a study last week that seems to back that up...

A study has been done into what the difference is between talented musicians, and average musicians, and the upshot of it was - that the one and only difference between average and brilliant students was the amount of time they practiced. So what do you think of that? Could it be that the protestant-work ethic long ingrained into us could have some pay-back? I was reading the article out loud to the family, and my youngest didn't get to hear the end of it, because he shot off to get his violin and start practicing. It made me think of the old maxim that it takes a million words to make a writer. The amount of hours it takes to get really good at something the researchers found - was about 10,000 hours, equiv to working full pelt at something for 10 years they said. And this was true for a myriad of different talents - including writing.

I found this study very reassuring. If it takes 10 years of effort to be good at writing - I'm still on track, and if I just keep at it - I will get good. Its been said before of course, infact most successful writer when asked for advice will say - the trick is to just keep writing.

It can't be! It says its been 19 weeks since I posted - hows that for procrastination? Ok well I'm going to plunge right in.

I was watching my son today as he tried again - and again - and again to swim. And I was thinking about how as children we get dropped into all sorts of situations where we are faced with challenges. Whether it's learning to swim, or playing a musical instrument, or trying to pass your school exams - I'm pretty sure in retrospect that these challenges are made to fit people for life. After you have mastered swimming despite the fact you nearly drowned several times, setting up your own business for example should be a cinch. I'm not really sure whether it works that way in reality, probably a lot of us come out of childhood stubbornly determined never to have another challenge rammed down our throats ever again.

But I digress. There was my son valiantly attempting backstroke, sinking below the surface at regular intervals to come up spluttering, and as I sat poaching slowly in the hot and humid atmosphere, I decided that learning backstroke was rather like trying to write a blog. There might be a few false starts, a few times when you're not sure you can go on, and wonder whether its all worth it. I mean my son is pretty good at the front crawl, he pull himself along at a fair speed - so why go through the trial of learning another stroke? I mean that's kind of how I feel about the blog - why write it? Why not use that precious writing time to 'really' write. But as I watched my son learning a technique that he would never use in a real situation, I realised it was going to make him a better swimmer, learning to move in a different way would strengthen the muscles that his usual stroke may not exercise fully, making him more lithe and co-ordinated.

And so to cut a long story short this is what inspired me to take the plunge - to try again, to really try and be a good blogger - and not leave it 19 (eek) weeks between posts. Because practicing blogging, or morning pages, or even poetry :) is going to feed into making me a better overall writer.

Ok well I'm not going to commit to swimming the full mile tomorrow - but I'm going to get in a few 'lengths' a week here - and that's a promise. If you spot me in my pink swimming cap with the self-coloured flowers (I always longed for one of these) , do give me a cheery wave.

Hey, I got some mail about the frankenstein characters, thanks to everyone for their comments!

I got an hour today to write - yeay! and tried out the new improved protagonist. It's working well for me so far, I can see her more clearly, so I'm hoping it makes her clearer to the reader too. It helps that appearances are a big part of the story and in context this character looks pretty bizarre and probably exaggerates the strangeness of her looks to herself.

I agree that the last entry in the blog looks like a mills and boon type character, but dropped in bits through the story I'm happy with how its working out. I mean if you see someone subtle in real life you might well forget them again, but someone striking sticks in your mind.

right - I'm out of time - next entry should be about the Winchester writers conference which I went to a couple of weeks ago...

Well this is the second draft of this post and I'm still not happy with it - perhaps that's something I'll learn from blogging - to write it and then to do hard bit - take a risk and send it....

Today I picked up Jack Bickham's book and got chance to read two of the 38 common writing problem he outlines

they were
don't write about wimps
and don't worry about being obvious

well my character isn't a wimp anymore. She's really got some attitude over the past few months. But Jack recommends that you reeeally exaggerate your character, and he gives a lot of funny examples, so I thought I'd try it with my heroine. So now she's not just got dark hair, but it is jet black and dead straight. And instead of dark eyes she's got dark brown eyes shot through with coppery glints, and her skin is an even and unrelenting creamy colour. I've souped up her emotional characteristics a bit more too so that instead of getting riled, she actually is walking around like the proverbial bottle of pop, ready to go off at any moment, but since she lives in a violently repressive atmosphere this leads to much internal conflict as she suppresses said emotions, which I can tag with gestures such as gritted teeth etc which I'm allowed to sprinkle liberally throughout.

Can't wait to get to the lap top tonight and start writing this character!!

It's really hard to choose a username. It's got to be something you'll be happy with for ages. I couldn't choose, and then inspiration rang the doorbell, a lovely young chap in his work clothes at 10pm at night bringing me armfuls of scented lilies. To what did I owe this unexpected pleasure? I was at the birth of his gorgeous little daughter a few weeks back, and this was a thankyou. And what did they name her? Lillie of course. Now that's something lovely to remember each time I blog.

So that explains the name - the purpose. To give my poor family a break from writer's talk. My husband in particular is so tired of hearing that the book is nearly finished that he just rolls his eyes. Trouble is the book just keeps changing, its like trying to paint a chameleon. But this time I do feel like I have my hands firmly around its neck, so I'm holding it down with one hand whilst sketching furiously with the other, and this time its got to play fair and not change. See? You can see what a patient man I'm married to putting up with this can't you?

Well I won't get any writing done tonight now - but at least I started my blog - so that's something.

Oh and I am going to admit it before someone asks - its more than two years possibly three that I've been struggling with this particular chameleon. Boy you should see my muscles!!